Random Stuff

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Fri May 31, 2013 2:54 pm

Ha... I knew if I waited long enough I could have the last word in here. Laughing

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Fri May 31, 2013 4:49 pm

....hi dolly, how's that book selling then and sorry you want "the last person to post here wins", just type it into a search engine you'll find lots of them, meanwhile a repost then...

"...and a lovely post that, may as well start as you mean to go on then...where I am just back from reading some amazing writing again that's tucked away, hiding, which I must acknowledge in some way, otherwise I wouldn't be what I post then would I now..." smiles Jats lazing by the fire, done in "...shame though, that it will hardly be read. Perhaps there should be an x factor style show for wanna be novelists, having to write in different genres, having makeovers, reciting poems, the blog factor perhaps, but then, with fame and fortune, one would no longer be anonymous and one has to be that if one wants to really say anything these days, so how then, there must be a way..." mumbles Jats, drooling, spluttering and talking in his sleep again


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Kenwood on Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:27 am

You fucker, Seven!

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Sat Jun 01, 2013 6:36 am

Kenwood wrote:You fucker, Seven!

Evil laugh... sorry, I really thought Jats was dead. Perhaps he is and this is him haunting us? Laughing

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Sat Jun 01, 2013 6:39 am

Why the long gap, Jats? Did we fall out of favour as recipients of your wisdom?

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Kerr on Sat Jun 01, 2013 10:04 pm

Kenwood wrote:You fucker, Seven!

lol

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:25 pm

steven pirie wrote:Why the long gap, Jats? Did we fall out of favour as recipients of your wisdom?

"...have you forgotten already that there are no rules dolly..." chuckles Jats resisting turning him into a bouncy ball again "...with livewriting see you can do as you please, go anywhere you like, on a whim even, not stuck to a forum or two fearing the ban should you say what you really want to say...no I'll always pop by now and again for you are my last remaining writing site that hasn't banned me for heresy now, or for just pricking someone's pomposity then, where you'll find I have left a number of random stuff threads dotted around, to be found, just like this one on my journey now, though I might see if effie fuckin collins has written anything good while I'm here, sorry she's the only one I remember, oh and you dolly of course..." Jats smiles seeing the summer dress floating down the stairs yet still clinging in all the right places as she then glides out into the garden carrying a fresh pitcher and smiling seductively in Jats direction "...no I'm fine thanks dolly, business as usual..." chuckles Jats leaving them to it then, while the chameleon promises to post a couple of reposts to unexplain further later, although chameleons can't be trusted remember


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Mon Jun 03, 2013 2:22 pm

I'm not buying that you 'popped by'. You have email alerts set, don't you, jatsie? And it saddens me that you hide behind the no rules nonsense when all along the gap in posts is because you're not a true livewriter, one with real stamina, but rather some part-time writer-johnnie who gave up on us and is therefore not worthy of any of your so-called bans. Hang your livewriting pen in shame, sir.

And chameleons are just chromatically indecisive; everyone knows that.

Welcome back (even if Ken's probably right and I am a fucker!).

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:37 pm

...but I never went away for you called didn't you, see, and so no I disagree for I do my one post a day religiously, just posted them elsewhere, for if one just stays in one place blind to the rest of forumland then one slowly becomes a troll don't you find, even you clever writers, with the gods being more guilty than most on some occasions...so anyway, those reposts, where at least I have something to show for it then other than the usual fayre...

Jats swings by "...there's always one, on every site you visit as you wander across the never ending journey that is forumland, unless we have done the lot by now, whereas the majority only tend to stick to one, or two, not having the time or inclination for more, though some do, seeking their thrill, the void to fill and recognisable by their little tells, like an innocent 'see you later', a certain phrase, or avatar, whatever the persona, but when they finally manage to become king troll, they are trapped on the forum fighting off the wannabes chomping at their heels...." Jats pauses to fart, put the fire on and change the channel on the radio before continuing "...yet what if the sleepers awake, what then, and see what's going on, but you know that will never happen will you Joexxx, knowing them so..." the chameleon sniggers reading another thread elsewhere simultaneously "...though we are growing in number Joexxx, and who's seeking who now I wonder...while in the process I might make you infamous briefly as I go, saving all these posts as I do, though whereas I am an icon already in this digital world now..."




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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:39 pm

"...now that pm has me seething still looking at it again now, and so glad it wasn't sent to me, never being a fan of bile wrapped in nicety..." Jats heads for the kettle again shaking his head in mock disappointment "...and where the last line just says it all  '...as we have quite a few experienced writers who love to help edit' I bet they do, doling out their homogenised advice, picking and clawing, destroying the competittion, follow the rules, follow the rules we must ALL follow the rules, line up here please to get your straight jackets, and all those mavericks, anarchists, dyslexics and illiterates even, that have gone before selling millions of copies of their works, what if they had 'followed the rules' then..." as Jats here thinks of one example

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.”
― George Bernard Shaw, John Bull's Other Island


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:41 pm

Every time I'm in a Jats thread I feel like I'm reading one of those 'choose your own adventure' books :bowdown:

plus, I really like the pictures

Jats stretches and rubs his aching muscles readying to go back into daily life and fight on, after one more cuppa then "...yes it's funny how you can know someone, for years, a whole life time maybe and not know them at all really, whereas on forumland you can know someone intimately, delve into every pore of their thoughts with a clear understanding of how they perceive even the tiniest of details, it's there with every word without the mask to hide it all from a lifetime of training in deception that starts with the taking of those first little baby steps, so no I don't care to see that mask here, or what car you drive, or any other superficial chattel from daily life that you care to mention to dazzle me from what's really going on inside..." Jats smiles recalling meeting someone online where he knew all her deepest desires within weeks and how easy it was then to push each button gently, or hard then "...no here I can see all of you, and you all of me, albeit anonymously...so tell me everything and nothing then..." asks Jats whispering back now "...for you are the reason I am here..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:43 pm

pissing contest about enlightenment

irony you're a sexy mistress :rofl:

"...you spotted that uh..." Jats laughs along enjoying chilling now after a so called day off, the price to pay then for having no boss ignoring of course the unopened letter from the Inland Revenue on top of the 'things to do' paperwork "...though no xxxxxx and I agree on lots of things, 'open your mind' for a start, it's just the delivery we disagree on where I agree with Voltaire that the superfluous, is a very necessary thing you see, though even madness has to have method behind it to succeed, and this is not just homework for me, this is about conquering forum land now and you are not going to do that by making lots of false identities dissipating into split personalities of self until even you are confused on who's reaching into the medicine cabinet for relief..." the chameleon agrees quoting Voltaire again that this is no time for making new enemies for there are plenty of those just waiting patiently to get you going "...though that aside, the main problem with enlightenment is everybody wants to get enlightened, but nobody wants to change, and so you could show someone the path to take in big fuck off letters on a great big neon sign and they are even more likely to go the other way instead..." adds Jats who still refuses to get a sat nav and just heads in the general direction, and then when close by asks an old person for directions instead, it never fails, just like once a week the reversing 'beep beep beep' of a lorry can be heard outside the window of the little cottage by the canal as the internet fails again "...no enlightenment must come little by little, otherwise it would overwhelm..."



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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Tue Jun 04, 2013 4:28 am

Four posts at once? Must be a sugar rush. Or an epiphany, seeing as Jats 'does his one post a day religiously'.

What pm? And who are we quoting?

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Tue Jun 04, 2013 7:14 am

...while the chameleon promises to post a couple of reposts to unexplain further later, although chameleons can't be trusted remember

...just another "writer" elsewhere having trouble with reading, a common affliction I've found. Here's another one then if you want to play, until you are told not to again, where I'll just sneak back in with a last post and then I'll see you in six months, next year, perhaps, meanwhile I have one thread just about to go over 100,000 views and another in the making on one of the big forums out there, and for some reason I'm getting big in Japan. Yes it's all go, from just one post a day...so how's that book sold then, uh? Flying off the shelves is it...you just don't get it do you and never will, but I'll be back to say "I told you so", meanwhile, do continue...

Thread titles you will never see: jats - "I am no longer going to make incoherent posts"

Jats enjoys a brief quiet moment fresh from watching his own private wildlife documentary in the vegetable patch where a gang of wasps swooped in attacking the caterpillars who were munching the broccoli with one wasp pumping his venom into its chosen victim and then the rest, picking up the scent, swarming around it and slowly devouring it like a pride of voracious lions before zooming off again, their bellies full "...interesting how ourdearmedia now are latching on to 'trolling' isn't it and FaceTwit being mentioned all the time as they move in with their own accounts, every tom dick and corporate having one now which they plug incessantly, YouTube too now littered with adverts and copyright claims, P2P's being shut down and facing legal claims against them, makes you wonder doesn't it, where all this is heading, not to mention the perils of blogging then..." Jats ruminates scratching his hairy chin, readying for a shit, shave and a shower before putting on today's disguise to be able to walk amongst the humans again "...and where will it all end as the underground is seduced by the dollar until it too becomes mainstream, controlled, contrite, on message, anything unique lost in a formulaic sea of detritus, so, where to find solace then, where can one speak freely without any reprisal, only here on forum-land it seems, the last survivor of the brave new world of social media still wallowing in it's acidic acrimonious apathy refusing to give in...well as long as you don't get caught saying anything too coherent that is..."




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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:28 am

Wibble!

(Sorry, but it amuses me that if I post any old shit in here Jats has to come back and post four more posts). Laughing

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:28 am

...and if he doesn't, I get to have the last word.

Sorry, I'm easily amused...

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:07 pm

"...you're still confused with 'the last person to post wins'..." smiles Jats clicking on the Shock Totem button seeing as there were little signs of life recently, curiously, though expecting the same old same old as usual on every return "...this is just random here, where you could amaze us with anything, a few snippets of that book, a teeny tiny tale, a slice, a snippet, a piece of magic from your imagination, or ask your wife perhaps, she's good, but if you want to continue to have the last word like those hooked by fleas dangling temptation forever more, then sure I will keep you company, once a week, twice a year, no effort at all..." chuckles Jats "...though as to who is winning by it, well that's crystal clear as you continue playing uncle tom here although we have seen many a great performance of that over the years, and yet you thought you were unique didn't you, though none will be remembered in the end, so, I'll say it again then, you writers should get out more you know..." chuckles Jats off to do some reposting elsewhere then, to find the next two for sure 


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by steven pirie on Tue Jun 25, 2013 4:31 pm

I've been ill. It's been a worrying time. Such days dull the imagination and blank the page. But it's fun playing in here, Jats, even if you are as mad as a mongoose (in the nicest possible way of course).

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:16 pm

steven pirie wrote:I've been ill. It's been a worrying time. Such days dull the imagination and blank the page. But it's fun playing in here, Jats, even if you are as mad as a mongoose (in the nicest possible way of course).
Jats holds the chameleon by the leash who's wanting to post all those posts they have missed, unleashing a furious cacophony here once more, but Jats knows no one is listening, too many writers here busy not writing then "...ah is that so, sorry to hear that, though I would have thought it woud be a reminder of human frailty, a spur to write on, quickly furiously, but that's the problem with normal writing isn't it, too many distractions from dailylife where with livewriting one can just click a button and continue even when comatose, but those and other benefits don't come at the start they have to be earned day by day, post by post, year by year..." Jats chuckles quietly as the missus starts to fall asleep curled up at his feet, worn out from editing and blogging, and from Jats reminding her that she hasn't written anything, again "...and there are many others too, not that you will realise, tucked away in these little isolated pockets where everyone tows the line, but out there on the bigger stages you can reach thousands and shoot to the top of those 'best book' and 'most popular author' blah de blah top ten, top 100 whatever lists overnight, and all for free too, not like those cheating authors who pay marketing companies to tweet, and re-tweet ad infinitum, or of course you can just spend your whole day on Facetwit yourself or even join little groups of self promotion where guess what, you won't be writing, so you have no choice, and hand over your money with a baa baa baa perpetuating it..."  smiles Jats almost done now but feeling the bumble bee lady coming soon for sure here "...but I'll ask you one more time Steven Pirie, and as ever take what you will from it, so, how's that book selling then, uh..." Jats wonders, putting the kettle on now


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Mercedes on Sun Jun 30, 2013 9:30 pm

I'm listening. Smile

And writing. And enjoying. And experiencing.

I don't think it matters what we write, or how we do it, as long as its satisfying to individually. There was a time when I scrawled poems on napkins and tucked them away, and that was satisfying enough for me. It was still a joy.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:23 pm

...exactly Merc, love the new photo by the way, much more "you" than the last one where your reply deserves more than this repost, but, this will have to do as it's almost half past two...

Facebook, create a blog, use Twitter to announce . . . um . . . . Try this book: Book Marketing Basics which helps indie market their books. Throw a link to it into your signature here and at any other writing site you're at. People might look at it. *hint, hint*
"...but..." Jats sighs, as he hates disagreeing with xxxxx, but "...everyone does that, and now he's going to do it, and everyone else too, a sea of them, as insistent as those spam emails that get ignored despite the very good offers to enlarge your penis..." insists Jats, up late, unable to sleep and writing only for distraction with no thoughts of getting published or being famous from it, just writing for himself for a moment "...and you can't just turn up on a forum now, especially a writers site and just say 'hallo read this - link', no even forumland expects more than that these days and that's where your readership is, waiting to be enthralled, so just make them read you instead..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:33 pm

...oh and have this one too then, now that you have made me think of it...

jats, why do i always read your post as if it is a poem?
buy that man a beer thinks the chameleon grabbing that post for posterity then "...if Galileo had said in verse that the world moved, the inquisition might have let him alone don't you think..." Jats starts, the chameleon thieving as usual seeing as the recent solar storms did fuck all then and we are all still here so adding "...and pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure too then, although to have great poets, there must be great audiences too, albeit you will find poetry nowhere unless you bring some of it with you, so now I have you here again, go back and read a post, or two, now that you have your eye in and remembering a poem can have an impact, but you can't expect an audience to understand all the nuances, for poetry is only an echo, asking a shadow to dance is it not..." adds Jats disappearing back into daily life now with the chameleon saying that explains all the fucking comma's then, though you were warned right at the beginning I s'pose


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Mercedes on Sun Jun 30, 2013 11:34 pm

Thank you, Jats. This is much more me.

Sleep well!

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Tue Jul 09, 2013 9:45 pm

...slept like a log, thankyou, and a repost then...

"...I haven't been sleeping well of late, well I have, but at all the wrong times, and how many times have you woke up from a dream and for a second there, you didn't quite wake at all, like the moments I have had when I am still a Knight, riding atop my horse with sword in hand and have kicked out at the attacker trying to dismount me where in reality have sent the coffee cup flying off the table across the room and smashing on to the floor in a hundred pieces, shattered, gone, in an instant, like my dream then, for if that had not happened, I would have been there still, fighting off those demons in my head with thrust and parry in all it's glory as if it were all so real..." begins Jats shivering from the morning chill "...and yet there are others who don't wake at all and mop the floor, or do the dishes and other daily chores, like an old girlfriend of mine who I once found at three in the morning outside the house naked washing her car, where my initial worried concern turned to laughter after I had got her back into bed which finally woke her from her hum drum dream and through fits of giggles I explained the cause of my mirth, yet she remembered nothing, and insisted that I was mad instead, making it all up I was, until I showed her the bowl and the cloth that she had taken out with her which I had left in the hall, after promising her 'No it's ok, I will clean it for you in the morning... lets go back to bed, there, there, shhhhh, nothing to worry about at all'. Oh how I wish I had thought to film it..." chuckles the chameleon watching the snow gently falling to the ground here now as it was on that day too "...anyway for those that have awoken then now, hold the line, stay with me..."



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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Sat Jul 13, 2013 9:27 am

...a repost then...

"...well even more reason to be anonymous then..." smiles Jats huddling from yet more fucking rain here in the shire "...and anyway haven't they got facetwit for all that nonsense where they can keep track of the peasants when they are not monitoring them constantly on cctv then, though, in between some of your gloating does it not occur to you that this will be copied by all regimes with just more whittling down of your civil liberties as they all move further to the right now while decrying the more extreme that kill their peasants rather than just suppress them properly, how it should be done..." hearing the thunder overhead now Jats bows to the inevitable, strips off the waterproofs and puts the fire on to dry off and watch the football instead then "...and don't expect your gods here to protect you, no they will hand you over in a heartbeat to save their own skin when push comes to shove rather than be guilty by association and this is merely the tip of the iceberg as the powers that be have suddenly realised how powerful and dangerous social media can be for what other reason is this new desire to control it on the pretence of protecting a few poor spineless whining celebrities who's super injunctions where exposed for all to see..." continues the chameleon putting two an two together again and getting forty two "...so no, I say to that poster applauding all those that post with transparency for that's the one thing these new trolls have got right, guarding their identity ferociously, where it's just their choice of targets that have given the excuse needed now, and for all those who say they have nothing to hide that may well be true, today then, but what about tomorrow should you suddenly be woken from your apathy at the crack of dawn someday..."



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Re: Random Stuff

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