Random Stuff

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Bosey on Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:52 am

I'm just pissed off that more vegetables and flowers don't look like vaginas. Oh wait, most do. Most are.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Bosey on Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:16 am

Well, when you ignore all the ones that look like alien shlongs, that is. But I was mainly talking about flowers, not veges.

Second best to a labial shower, the common flower.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Mercedes on Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:37 am

I'm utterly charmed by your wildflower post and picture, Jats. When I was a teenager, I used to go up to the mountains. It reminds me of that time.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Theresa on Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:30 pm

Awesome! I bet you see things from the plant's point of you, that is why they flourish so beautifully!


Last edited by Theresa on Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:30 pm

"...why thank you..." smiles Jats finding it hard to resist editing it slightly, adding a line, taking a word out, happier now, until the next time then "...from the plant's point of view? I s'pose I do in a way, trying to give them what they want, what they need to grow though it's always on the pretence that it is only for work, research, like the time I gave one of my clients an Owl sitting on its perch, fluffing and preening its wings ready for take-off and then throwing itself into the crisp night air majestically swooping through the glade of pine trees that hadn't used to be there too neither and then out into the field beyond to search for its prey...yes its nice making dreams come true and luckily it just so happens that they are some of my dreams too then..." as Jats finally heads for the shower now, worrying over the day again as another wild-flower meadow went in, and hoping everything was right while nudging things back into balance with the sweat from his brow, and the toe of his boot, as usual then



Last edited by Jats on Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:46 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:44 pm

Mercedes wrote:I'm utterly charmed by your wildflower post and picture, Jats. When I was a teenager, I used to go up to the mountains. It reminds me of that time.

thanks, I'm blushing like a clown, you should write that stuff down you know, or do it again, a repost then..

"...well I have done the Alps and there is nothing like standing on the top of a mountain wherever it is..." Jats reflected, standing atop one taking a break from collecting burnt gorse with a friend like a couple of mountain goats with black bin bags staring down at the village where my companion grew up evoking old and creating new memories then "...it's that feeling you get standing there elated, filling the chest with the thin air that is lifting your mood looking out at the journey made, and thinking of the others that have made the paths and trails, of what trials they have endured as they too made it here way back when, for different reasons perhaps, but the same result I bet..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Theresa on Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:03 pm

Jats wrote:"...why thank you..." smiles Jats finding it hard to resist editing it slightly, adding a line, taking a word out, happier now, until the next time then "...from the plant's point of view? I s'pose I do in a way, trying to give them what they want, what they need to grow though it's always on the pretence that it is only for work, research, like the time I gave one of my clients an Owl sitting on its perch, fluffing and preening its wings ready for take-off and then throwing itself into the crisp night air majestically swooping through the glade of pine trees that hadn't used to be there too neither and then out into the field beyond to search for its prey...yes its nice making dreams come true and luckily it just so happens that they are some of my dreams too then..." as Jats finally heads for the shower now, worrying over the day again as another wild-flower meadow went in, and hoping everything was right while nudging things back into balance with the sweat from his brow, and the toe of his boot, as usual then



What's that quote? "The seeds will then produce the kinds of plants and trees from which they came." I'm sure everything was right.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:23 pm

I dunno, that nature just does what it wants sometimes, a repost then...

"...a few more things passed on that will no doubt annoy others, but amuse the boys especially if said when socially inapropriate, I can't help it, like the one time when I had been teaching them about trees, where one found out, much to their delight that there is a 'bastard' tree, to which I chuckled and agreed with their discovery even pointing out two of them growing right outside their school, and when as a consequence they had been told by others that there was 'no such thing' I scanned and printed out a page of information on the 'bastard' tree for them to challenge their doubters..." Jats smiles at the memory "...and I hear too that Religious Education classes have also been an opportunity to pass on some of the things I had said and done when I was a child, or wish I had, even congratulating and rewarding one of them for being told off for writing on the front of his Religious Education text book in big black bold letters There is no God..." as Jats enjoys that vicarious moment again picturing that particular god fearing teachers face while enjoying the brevity of being great still, for a little while longer then


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:00 am

Tick tick tick; that's the sound of your life running out.

"... whereas I liked that one very much..." the chameleon plucks it now to make his one post a day out of it "...and so the question is then what are you going to do with it, though when you are young most of your time is dedicated to wasting it, a whole day, a week even, poof gone, with you harnessed to the screen to unlock some mythical achievement, and then the rest of the time back to the screen bragging about how you did it, and as for real life, well just make that up too..." as Jats takes a break from pondering on his fantasy team substitutions during the international break, Torres having let him down again the useless fucker, though waits to hear news of the last minute transfers now before committing "...but if you were to find out today that your time was limited and knew the date that the clock would stop ticking would you rush out and do everything different, never return to this forum again, s'pose many would, no not me though, I am here til the end game now, as it all depends on why one is here in the first place then..." donning his shorts, boots and grabbing his cape Jats feels ready to take the rest of the day on now


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:21 am

Bosey wrote:Enjoyed your gardening post, since I have broccoli growing in the garden right now, to satiate the taste buds of my better half. I'm using home-made compost this year, as it proved far superior to the bought stuff when I tested both on radishes a while back.

reading back, I will answer that again Bosey, yes nothing better than putting all that organic waste back into the soil and it's so easy to make your own, a repost then...

"...what an afternoon..." Jats sips his tea chuckling away with a different perspective now it seems "...your mission should you accept it is to turn this pile of scrap of wood into a compost heap in two hours. As you will see, all the wood is of various shapes and sizes, the old nasty plastic compost bins are in the way, and full, plus, it appears there is a bees nest in one, and a wasps nest in the other. Go! ...I tell you it was like some sadistic Japanese game show, I should have videoed the whole process as the air in that little corner of the garden was filled with a stream of blue protests and if she ends up telling me she doesn't like it after all that I swear I'll scream..." as Jats goes off to water the Asparagus knowing she will do no such thing




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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Bosey on Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:06 am

I always delay composing compost for some reason. Sure I gather the required ingredients into separate heaps around the property, which start decomposing themselves, ineffectually, as they wait. After a while, quite a while, I combine the separate ingredients into one, and let the microbial action begin, hoping I got the ratios right. And then I wait.

I think I would be more motivated to compose compost if (it sang) it weren't for the fact that a whole mound of raw ingredients becomes a mere bucket full of sweet nutrition once the decomposition is done. Plus, half of it goes through your fingers as you hand it to the plants. And a quarter stays on your fingers. The wind takes the rest. None actually reaches the plant sometimes. Which is why people turn to the bought stuff, which lacks nutrition. Haha.

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:19 pm

think big, 6' x 4' at least, turn it often and pee on it regularly is my answer to that marvellously crafted post and a repost then, inspired by a mention I got in the 'Thread titles you will never see' thread...

jats - I am no longer going to make incoherent posts

Jats gets a brief quiet moment fresh from watching his own private wildlife documentary in the vegetable patch where a gang of wasps swooped in attacking the caterpillars who were devouring the broccoli, one wasp pumping his venom into its chosen victim with the rest, picking up the scent swarming around it and slowly devouring it like a pride of voracious lions before zooming off again, their bellies full "...interesting how ourdearmedia now are latching on to 'trolling' isn't it and FaceTwit being mentioned all the time as they move in with their own accounts, every tom dick and corporate having one now which they plug incessantly, YouTube too now littered with adverts and copyright claims, P2P's being shut down and facing legal claims against them, makes you wonder doesn't it, where all this is heading, not to mention the perils of blogging then..." Jats ruminates scratching his hairy chin, readying for a shit, shave and a shower before putting on today's disguise to be able to walk amongst the humans again "...and where will it all end as the underground is seduced by the dollar until it too becomes mainstream, controlled, contrite, on message, anything unique lost in a formulaic sea of detritus, so, where to find solace then, where can one speak freely without any reprisal, only here on forum-land it seems, the last survivor of the brave new world of social media still wallowing in it's acidic acrimonious apathy refusing to give in...well as long as you don't get caught saying anything too coherent that is..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:51 am

a repost...

"...ah yes they grow up so fast..." agrees Jats joining in with the lamenting exhausted from another weekend where the only time he really saw his lot was when parking his ass down next to them and joining in with their fantasy world, improving his kill to death rate ratio in the process and earning back some respect before getting back to the cooking, cleaning and washing then "...and I cherish these times, this age where before too long they will think they know everything of the world, where all the mystery will be gone and everything is boring, naff, lame, or whatever word is in vogue, for pretty soon, one by one, they will face their biggest challenge, the ultimate team death match that will slowly try to pull them apart with more stealth and cunning than they have come across, that bond of brotherhood forged by the years easily melting away if forgetting those lessons learned to work together on the battlefield then..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by fleamailman on Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:31 am

("...loved that one..." went the goblin thinking it hit the mark perfectly)

repost from elsewhere

where once again the goblin found himself thanking admin for her insight towards how it looked from her end, or at least how it related to others now, so the goblin for his part explained how he saw it, saying "...well, doubt is a two way street as they say, where those bans in part reflect upon those forums too, where I only defend myself skillfully, avoiding anything rude or crude now, and yet I won't conform to that "writers must be" norm and remain a heretic to this day with the sole intention of writing within my posts that which creates rapport thus getting me to write more, where, for example, this reply too, I will store it away, removing the names of course while exacting the words to myself, finally adding its picture too, why, because this is my way of writing then, ever this ongoing exacting within posts then, just the difference between that one way reading and this two way feeding now...", whereupon the goblin guessed that those who had rejected him were just not on his wavelength, so he wished them well and forgot them, no instead, both the journey to self here, and the tally/benchmark too, haunted him to post on, as time upped and descended the goblin into his dailylife once more, "...oh no, not more housework today too, couldn't we have some global financial meltdown instead..." whimpered the goblin at his fate once more




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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:24 am

"...yes leave the crude to me, apparently, so I am told in my crusade against twee...time for this new one then..." replies Jats just before dashing out into the glistening sunshine for the next chapter

cocking his head to one side watching her stroll down the drive towards him in her gum boots and britches her face ruddy and smiling as the two Labradors at her side notice him and bolted to collect their weekly treat of chocolate biscuits with slobbering affection, Jats can't help thinking once more that here indeed is a woman of substance standing in front of him as she agrees during the conversation that a third of the mass of green grass beneath them would indeed be better covered in wild flowers, and so, after suppressing his fantasies and banishing classic lines from his head like 'If a woman hasn't got a tiny streak of harlot in her, she's a dry stick as a rule' Jats takes his payment gratefully, careful then not to forgo his pragmatism and mention that if truth be told he would do this client for nothing then "...oh hum, another dull day at work, and then back to the fantasy of the page to comment on the frustration of this age, see the passions displayed, where you would think, reading here, that nothings really changed as we continue to refute, or acknowledge the 'evil' that is in all of us then..."



Last edited by Jats on Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:31 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : one always has to edit don't you find)

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:59 pm

a repost...

Jats whats your background bro

"...mainly green, though some browns and reds thrown in, especially at this time of year..." Jats responds here then sipping his tea waiting for the football to begin "...I do like 'the fall' as you call it, which is late this year, how everything changes subtly, making the eyes dance to keep up, yes change is inevitable now 'I want to be' and I used to be 'heard more often than 'I am' for contentment is hard to find in the sea of change required to keep up in this accelerating demise the humans find themselves in now..." as Jats listens to the debate in the background on whether Rooney should play for England or not "...as for me I am only what I post somehow..." Jats chuckles from the sidelines where only yesterday while leaning on a fence post in a muddy field the couple let slip in a conversation that they thought him 'a bit weird', the husband then joining in with Jats laughter and sincere thank you in response saying 'See! I told you he would take that as a compliment' "...so whatever my background then, it's only significance is that it has brought me here, where I am happy now, for here are on forum-land whatever you fancy then is the fantasy required then, and so why be Joe Bloggs when you can be whoever you want to be..." nods Jats taking a break from making substitutions, choosing the right captain each week and favouring home games as usual, for if the boys are gonna win that £10 bet for 'beating Dad' at fantasy football by Jove they are going to have to earn it


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Wed Nov 02, 2011 3:17 pm

...a repost from elsewhere, conversation with an Australian woman (who doesn't like me much), on these there riots then...

Jats smiles warmly thinking on something he came across last night while emptying out the ash pan from the log burner where all those sticks that were good for poking now fit neatly in a bag, a harmless pile of dust now "...all across America now, and other parts of the world too, the occupiers enjoy their peaceful non violent protest, except in Oakland it seems where in the 'interests of public safety' the occupiers were dispersed with tear gas and riot shields, dragged from the streets in a show of superiority, even some guy in a wheelchair, and as shocking as this is, it won't be the last, for no matter what label ourdearmedia gives the protesters you have no right to protest now it seems, whatever kind of citizen you are, and so when that is gone what option is there left than to riot in return then..." the chameleon knowing that the London mob where just ahead of the game, tired of turning the other cheek, nods and agrees "...and so when the economic safety net of its proximity to the East bursts In Australia, and the underlying poverty creeps upwards making the Australians follow suit, ask yourself this, are you any different in the eyes of your government, I doubt it, perhaps then you will concede that there has to be a better way than this, and stand up to make a difference, or as the batons start swinging upon your countrymen in turn will you still think it's all my fault then too for supporting this rebellion here now...anonymously of course...of course you will..." as the chameleon morphs into a vivid myriad of exes in a nano second again, his little party piece it seems, for some female humans    




Last edited by Jats on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:25 am; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by fleamailman on Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:57 am

(the goblin just pushed the thanks button for that post, saying "...it's the poor paying for the rich...")

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Nov 03, 2011 7:18 am

with a smile of expected disappointment that 'it's just Flea as usual' the chameleon responds "...aint it always...not me though, I'm going underground..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Shiney on Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:26 pm


_________________
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"I'll eat you up I love you so."

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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:38 pm

ah Shiney, thank you for your that I trust all is well in your world and I never get mad in forum-land even though madness abounds...an old old post in return then as winter is coming...

"...comes to something when you have to go outside to get warm, part of my log burner project, just fuelling it up in the garden to burn the paint off, and with our own roaring brazier outside it turned into a camp to warm the hands in between snowball fights with the kids next door and their cousins who thought we were easy targets, yes I shall miss the little brats when they move house next week, although I suspect they will miss the mad bloke next door more and his crazy kids, as i know I have been more of a father to the two boys in the past two years than their errant Dads have ever been..." Jats smiles editing this post now years after it was written where their mother has since used the exact same phrase herself "...yet it was amusing in the early months, their mothers trepidation, fuelled by the media hysteria instead of education which makes it so sad when I get that 'look' of suspicion, the innocence and joy stripped away, where I feel more sorry for the men as a result, who go along with it, denying themselves that chance to play, and in the process teach the young ones to fight against it, as any real man would then..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:16 pm

coincidently that rhino picture was posted at me elsewhere Shiney, a repost then, that you may have seen twice now then too...

Ah. Jats strikes again.

I never know if he is writing fiction, or speaking about events in his own life. I'd like to think it's the latter, but I'm happy to read it either way.

"...I went into my local library the other day, it's been a while, not since I 'saved the day' and the mature assistant with the well hidden pendulous breasts and the twinkle in her eye still remembered me as we chatted politely while handing over my 50p for a print out of a shipping label that I needed quick, my printer cartridge having run dry you see, and as I left with a smile, passing by the lonely rows of reference books, I noticed no one in there was even looking at a book let alone reading one, all eyes turned to the row of screens against the wall with someone already having taken my place for their allotted hour..." the smell of the pumpkin and chilli soup coming from the kitchen lures Jats away for a while as a big dollop is ladled out next to the waiting garlic bread ready to replace the calories burnt off in a nice and easy two hour working day "...yet people still want to read something more than the soap opera and the tabloid that is Facetwit then, though not some boring monotonous blog, see it has to be in easy bite size chunks, and most importantly interactive with the right to reply without censor, yet how do you reach your readers now there waiting for you in forum-land which can be such a hostile place for many of those timid writer types hiding on their writers sites bemoaning the death of the book...who knows, maybe if you leave them there long enough they might come up with something to rival even Shakespeare perhaps, for me though it's live writing now, where the facts speak for themselves as you have seen, and the fiction, well like you I haven't a fucking clue what happens next..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:47 pm

who are you?

"...little old me? I am everyone and nobody see as the movement of 'anonymous' is growing now, for how can one object otherwise these days without being labelled a liberal loony, communist, or a criminal even by the government and it's little pawns which I call 'ourdearmedia' here, where too, in good old forum-land, the same tactics abound you see, especially by those still hell bent in the crass pursuit of impossible financial nirvana that leaves them empty like their words laid out before you..." smiles Jats flicking through the worn pages of the gift given long ago by an old American friend, searching for a few quotes that resonate today still "...though America never learns, it is like a child still, grabbing and clawing for the impossible dream, the memory wiped clean, while the monster continues on, having to have profits all the time for when the monster stops growing it dies see, for like any child unchecked it will just consume itself to death..." as Jats chuckles at the coincidence of his own greedy bastards invading the kitchen and shouting in to them 'get out of the bloody biscuit tin, dinner is in ten minutes...have a grape' though lets them sneak one or two then "...no people should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people see, for some of us have memories, some of us can still read and write eloquently enough to see how history tries to repeat itself, though for many it will take more than this, it won't be obvious until there is another Okie exodus upon us, the Union starting to come apart at the seams again in this impossible dream now, where those greedy bastards will take everything, if you let them..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:48 pm

"...result then, having just picked up a second x-box to feed the boys addiction which is growing stronger and stronger especially with the dark nights here now in the little cottage by the canal..." Jats remarks returning to the slot now warm as toast by the fire "...and I was quite pleased with discovering a little chap close by who refurb's them and sells them on by the dozen or so a week adding a string to his bow so to speak and very happy with the deal struck, yet it turns out I have something he needs too, so a little bit of back scratching to be done then and proving once again, to me anyway, that if you want to get through whatever doomsday scenario that might be coming our way, you gotta have a niche of some sort while waiting for the sleepers to awake..." tempered and polished Jats takes a few practice swings in the living room with the beautiful old scythe just acquired which was rusty and dusty from sitting in an old barn that glistens now with each swish of the blade "...cus when it comes down to it, sitting on your arse behind a desk all day just won't do..."


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Re: Random Stuff

Post by Jats on Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:51 pm

been busy elsewhere see, though I admit with plenty of thieving, and other than Theresa getting off her arse I see and saving the world, what you been up to then, you writers you...

Jats is great, there are a bunch that go nowhere, but I read most of them.

every one contains a couple sentences that are either :cool: or :wtf: as fuck :rofl:

Jats is one poster I would like to know more about.

And the pics and vids with every post, amazing consistancy :rofl:

"...job done then...here get a load of this, remember that Volcano going off in Iceland a few years ago with the unpronounceable name, Egiigajigooliewotsitname, and as a consequence planes couldn't fly for a bit, plus the last two winters have been fucking freezing with strange weather all over Europe and parts of America as a result...well...wouldn't you know it...there's an even bigger fucker ready to go off, called Katla, coincidently named after an evil troll..." as the chameleon puts all the pieces together now "...it historically goes off twice a century and its overdue, meaning when it does next month, next year, or two, it will get colder still cus see land locked water escapes in to the sea, the sea-bed actually sinks under the weight, yes it's sea-bed sink and not sea-level rise or else there would be a uniform sea-level rise much like when one runs a bath noting the water-level rise equally on all sides now, anyway, pressure pushes on the magma both under and in between the cracks of the earth's crust, more earthquakes, more volcanoes erupting, the volcanic ash falls back to earth as rain, record rain in fact, where rain cools things, etc., etc., in short, all your strange weather patterns you see today, just getting obvious and obviouser..." slurping another nightcap Jats celebrates not being up this late for a while having to always be up in the morning of late "...no it wouldn't take much to knock this teetering global financial crisis over the edge with all the pieces in place now, the black hand of fate poised to set things in motion as it has done so before then, for after the feast comes famine..."




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aphMkFzUiZo&feature=related

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Re: Random Stuff

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